Good afternoon, fellow Toastmasters.

If you had seen my life from the outside a few years ago, you probably wouldv’e said, “She’s got it all together.”

College degree? Check. Two stable careers. Check. Calendar color coded and goals mapped out? Double Check. I was the one who got things done. Who had it all. ON PAPER.

For years, I’ve measured my worth by how much I could achieve and how much I could give. I thought if I worked hard enough, loved deeply enough, and kept showing up, success, happiness, even love, would find me.

But instead, I lost myself. I ABANDONED myself.

I chased productivity, achievements, and 3 bad relationships always hoping they’d validate something inside me that felt… MISSING.

It has taken YEARS, MANY painful lessons, and ongoing reflection to realize: leadership and love have to start from within.

In work, I was the overachiever, the one who never said no, who stayed late, who burned out quietly…

In 3 separate relationships, I gave until I was empty, thinking that love meant sacrifice even when it came at the cost of my voice AND, regrettably, my character…

And through it all, I told myself this was what strong people did. They endured. They pushed through. They smiled through exhaustion.

I thought success would come if I just tried harder. I thought love would come if I just gave more.

But instead of feeling full, I felt invisible – like I was disappearing into the expectations of everyone else and had ZERO OF MYSELF.

It took hitting emotional rock bottom – where I couldn’t recognize myself anymore to see I wasn’t really looking for success or love. I was looking for SELF-WORTH. That realization changed everything.

I started setting boundaries not just with others, but with myself.

I stopped overcommitting. I redefined success. It wasn’t about being the best in the room; it was about being the MOST ME in the room.

I asked new questions:
Not “What do they need from me?” but “What do I need from myself?”
Not “How do I win them over and prove that I’m enough?” but “What would it look like to already believe I am?”

SLOWLY, I’ve begun to find my way back. The journey is HARD, but worth it.

True leadership doesn’t come from proving your worth to others. It comes from KNOWING your worth and leading from that place of wholeness – NOT emptiness.

Today, I am STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS. I lead differently. I will love differently. I speak up. I say no. I trust my instincts. I protect my peace because without it, I have nothing to give.

This journey – from proving to BEING – brought me to Toastmasters.
I want to speak from a place of truth.

I want to grow as someone who leads with clarity, character, compassion, and confidence – NOT for validation, but for impact.

So here I am. Not chasing anything. Just standing in my story. No filters. No performances. No needing to be chosen.

I lost myself trying to become what the world wanted.

But in doing so, I finally choose me.