The Honorable Order of the Oozlefinch as only known by us Air Defense Artillery Officers. 10% truth and 90% hyperbole. Only those that serve with the fine individual know what is true and exaggerated. Farewell Honorable member, Major (P) Geib and congratulations on the reaffirmation of your good standing in the Honorable Order of the Oozlefinch!
Hear Ye, Hear Ye-
It is with a sad soul and a heavy heart that we bid a fond farewell and hearty goodbye to the funniest man ever to serve in the 108th Spartan Brigade—MAJ (P) Shawn Holiday Geib. Especially amusing to all of the staff was DCO’s love for BOC Operations. So passionate was he about Wednesday mornings (BOC Ops face photo), that he humored the staff with two and a half straight hours of the subject most near and dear to his heart—the Military Decision Making Process! At approximately 1131 hours, when he FINALLY engaged his audience and asked if the staff had any questions, only then the situation truly became hilarious because no one in their right mind dared extend BOC Ops into lunch hour!
Shawn Geib wore many hats in the three years he spent with the 108th beginning with 1-7 BN S3 where he used his green giant stature and Naval War College education to intimidate his subordinates; BN Safety Nazi after he went so far as to negatively counsel the poor Soldier that passed him on the road simply trying to make it to PT on time (Let’s be serious; it was hardly fair—who wouldn’t pass that old, grey-black, hot rodding, oil leaking Edsel he miraculously splutters from Spring Lake to work in from time to time?); BN XO in which he deployed and served several times as Card Czar in Cards Against Humanity (Answers to these questions omitted for Saving Face reasons…), a brief stint as the acting Panther BN CDR…yeah, we’ll just leave the past in the past; BDE AS3 but made hardly a mark of impact here that it’s almost not even worth mentioning; 1-7 Soccer Team Bully—BDE put up with him enough during the day; they weren’t going to volunteer evenings with the ruthless player who once missiled a football straight into the chest of a lightweight lieutenant knocking her straight to the ground in Israel; and finally, his time with the Spartan Brigade culminated as BDE DCO—“Drive, Command and Order!”—I mean, Deputy Commanding Officer—the one we all know to have a line the length of the Wall of China standing outside his door any moment of the day and the same one the BDE CDR almost ordered an investigation against when he was found breaking child labor laws to fix the grand stand on Panther Field—over the weekend no less.
DCO “Hellboy” Geib as some refer to him redeployed back from the Middle East early after several complaints and actions warranting disciplinary consequences. He first hoarded all of the baby wipes and rugs from the MSAB shoppette. He then blew up a vacuum cleaner inside his 8×10 sq ft RLB—natural Jordan dust storms just weren’t enough for him. In UAE, he slept in all hours of the morning while his counterparts woke up, worked out, ate, showered and left for the office before he ever even stirred. You see—underneath the calm, cool, clean freak, voice of reason, Clint Eastwood persona we think we know, harbors a mischievous slob who does not at all take a shaving cream brush to his desk at least twice daily or fights with soccer players on opposing teams simply for not recognizing him as a force to be reckoned with. He did make valiant attempts to change his ways—most valuable lessons learned: how to identify friction points on his dry erase board with markers all colors of the rainbow and how to coordinate the pre-brief to the pre-brief of the actual brief for the BDE CDR. And so, the future did get better for the former CPT Geib—an even brighter one awaits him in Tampa, Florida but before he and his family storm those beaches, it is with heavy hearts and sad souls that we bid a fond farewell to Shawn “Serious as a Heart Attack, Not Really Funny AT ALL” Geib and emphatically reaffirm his good standing in the honorable Order of the Oozlefinch on this, the 13th day of May, 2016.
