Opening:

“Why me?” Have you ever asked yourself that question?

It doesn’t have to be dramatic. It doesn’t mean wallowing in self-pity.
It’s raw and it’s a very human question.

And we’ve all been there – me too – staring at the aftermath of something I didn’t see coming.
Wondering what I missed. How it unraveled. Why a particular pain landed on me.

Recently, I came across the true story of Chris Williams –
A man who lost his pregnant wife and two of his children in a split second to a drunk driver.

And in the wreckage – literal and emotional – he kept asking:

“Why me?“

It felt cruel. Senseless. Unfair.

And while my pain doesn’t mirror his, I do know this question intimately.

Part 1: Personal Betrayal & Pain

Perhaps, like some of you, I’ve lived through betrayals that knocked the wind out of me.

Friendships that disappeared without warning.
Support I thought was solid… vanished the second life got messy.
People I believed would protect my heart… broke it instead, and walked away without looking back.

I’ve had moments where I gave everything I had, and it still wasn’t enough.

There’s a particular kind of ache that comes not just from loss…
but from being discarded.
From realizing you were fighting for something alone.

It’s humbling. It’s disorienting.

And for a while, I sat with that same question: Why me?

Why am I the one picking up pieces I didn’t shatter?
Why does loyalty feel like the reason I was left behind?
Why did life take turns I never would’ve myself chosen?

But I didn’t stay stuck.

Because pain, if you let it, becomes a teacher.
It brings CLARITY.
And, eventually – growth.

Part 2: The Shift to “Why Not Me?”

That’s why Chris’s story hit me so deeply.
As he wrestled with grief, heartbreak, and even hate…

Something shifted.

He didn’t stay in “Why me?“
Somewhere in that pain, he found the courage to ask something radical:

“Why NOT me?“

Why NOT be the one who forgives – even when it doesn’t make sense?
Why NOT be the one who turns suffering into strength – not for applause, but for impact?
Why NOT be the one to walk through fire… and still choose love?

It made me rethink my own pain and trials.

What if the betrayals weren’t the end of my story but the beginning of who I was becoming?

What if the pain I didn’t ask for… was an invitation to rebuild with intention?
To grow deeper roots?
To become someone wiser, stronger, and more self-aware?

Maybe those who left… were never meant to stay.

Maybe my heart didn’t break, but opened instead.

Part 3: The Leadership In It

You see, there’s leadership in pain.

Sometimes strength is how we carry what we never asked for.

It’s refusing to let what hurt you define you.

It’s healing out loud with so much grace and grit so others know they’re not alone.

So now, when life hits hard…
I still ask questions.
But not “Why me?”

Now I ask:

Why NOT me?

Why not be the one who gets back up – differently?
Why not be the one who turns wounds into wisdom?
Why not lead with empathy in a world that’s so tired of pretending?

Closing:

We don’t get to choose all the pain life hands us.
But we do get to choose what we do with it.

Chris Williams chose forgiveness. He forgave the drunk driver that took his pregnant wife and two children from him.
He survived tragedy and he also transformed it.

I too choose healing and boundaries.

You?
You get to choose too.

Not because life is fair – because it is NOT – but because you are capable.

The next time life sideswipes you, because IT WILL, and you hear yourself ask: “Why me?“

Take a breath and answer yourself back:

“Why NOT me?“

Because YOU can handle it.
Because YOU can transform it.
Because YOU won’t waste it.

Pain is not punishment.
It’s preparation.

For who you’re meant to be.