I didn’t have my first real relationship until I was 23. That first experience was so toxic and painful that I feared I might never recover. My second meaningful connection came with someone who happened to be in the right place at the right time. We supported each other, and his and my friendship endures to this day. As does my relationship with his kids.
But the third person—he is the one who showed me what true love feels like. For 11 years, the spark between us has never dimmed. From the time we met in Oklahoma to now. If you haven’t experienced love in this way, it might be worth asking yourself if you’ve truly felt the deep, transformative passion that real love can bring.
For reasons both written and unwritten, a love exists between two people that defies resistance. Even when timing and circumstance never played to our advantage, life still saw fit to bring us together and connect us for a lifetime. No matter the distance or countless times we separated for personal and professional reasons, fate returns us to each other again and again.
Do not settle for anything less. Love unapologetically in a world where true love is rare. Seize it when it appears even if it’s fleeting, for failing to do so will only bring greater regret. Life is too short to conform to others’ or even society’s rules – embrace your freedom; embrace love. When it’s real and genuine, you both know.
In no particular order…
1) He or she makes your heart smile.
2) His or her voice is a salve – calming, velvety and beautiful.
3) His or her hands – their magic, their electricity, how they use them to help others.
4) The captivating way he or she can tell stories.
5) Being a classy gentlemen or lady.
6) His or her intelligence – both innate and learned.
7) How he or she lets you take care of them and vice versa.
8) His or her passions – for work, for food, for life, in love.
9) When you appreciate that he is a good tipper and takes care of your waiter/waitress/bartender.
10) Being a caring and loving son or daughter and making their parents proud.
11) His or her spontaneity.
12) Being a great problem solver.
13) He or she should make you feel desirable.
14) Listening to their calm breathing and steady heartbeat after they’ve fallen asleep gives you peace.
15) How much he or she loves and appreciates Christmas music.
16) The way he or she tilts their head in the mirror when they’re doing their hair.
17) The way he or she believes in you and you in them.
18) When he or she gives you forehead kisses.
19) When he or she helps you celebrate the good things that happen to you.
20) That he or she likes to work out and how they look doing it. 😉
21) When you admire every inch of their body and how it’s capable of so many great things.
22) When you’re just #dialedin with him or her.
23) When he or she loves you in all your forms.
24) Facial hair? YES.
25) How FUN he or she is and is capable of being.
26) The way he or she holds you.
27) The way you miss him or her after they’ve just left.
28) When you find he or she attractive on the inside and outside.
29) His or her dedication to their work and pride they take in their job.
30) Without realizing it, they challenge you to be a better person, and you want to be that better person for him or her all the time.
31) Their compassion. For others. For you.
32) His or her commitment to their friendships.
33) How proud he or she makes you.
34) Not being scared of being kissed before teeth are brushed.
35) Being a thoughtful person by default. Not even having to try.
36) Being wrapped in his or her arms feels protective and safe.
37) His or her analytical talents are impressive and inspiring.
38) His or her laugh is infectious.
39) His or her amazing sense of style and how they look good in EVERYTHING from suit to hoodie and jeans.
40) How he or she reaches their hand out to hold yours before you can theirs.
41) His or her unique, vivacious personality that can pull anyone into their orbit.
42) He or she is generous – with time, with money, with love.
43) How warm he or she is.
44) Having similar tastes in food and appreciation for both fine and casual dining.
45) If he or she likes both “manly” and “girly” drinks.
46) If he or she is a parent, the way they love their children. The way their children open up to you in return simply by loving and caring for them knowing they’re a part of him or her.
47) How strong he or she is both physically and mentally.
48) For making you feel like you can do anything when you’re together.
49) How with him or her, you are the best version of yourself.
50) How he or she remembers more minute details about you than you give them credit for.
51) The way he or she makes you miss you when you’re not with them.
52) For his or her incredible patience. With you. With kids. With life.
53) How supportive and encouraging he or she is of others and of you.
54) For all the priceless moments he or she gives you.
55) Your shared experiences.
56) When he or she values your opinion.
57) How he or she accepts you for who you are.
58) Because he or she does not try to change you.
59) How you each appreciate each other’s differences.
60) For gifting you with so many beautiful, cherished memories.
61) When he puts up with your PMS.
62) When he or she respects your boundaries.
63) His or her unwavering confidence.
64) The way he or she respects and encourages your dreams and ideas.
65) How he or she stirs in their sleep and reaches for you.
66) How he or she is always ready and prepared to take risks.
67) His or her kindness moves you.
68) You enjoy spending both exciting and mundane moments with him or her.
69) His or her consideration. Of others. Of you.
70) When your connection goes beyond physical attraction.
71) When he or she is your biggest cheerleader.
72) When he or she makes an effort to understand your perspective.
73) When he or she celebrates your achievements as if they were your own.
74) He or she inspires you with their determination and perseverance.
75) He or she can make the simplest activities exciting. They can make Ordinary Extraordinary.
76) His or her resilience in the face of challenges.
77) When he or she becomes an essential part to your life’s story.
78) When you become each other’s muse.
79) When his or her scent is both comforting and intoxicating at the same time.
80) When you are able to maintain your attraction and spark for years. When it just gets stronger with time.
81) How he or she embraces new experiences.
82) When he or she is genuinely interested in your stories and experiences.
83) He or she is capable of showing and giving love through both word and action.
84) When your personal space and time are respected when you need it.
85) His or her acceptance of both your strengths and flaws.
86) When he or she sees you at your worst and still loves and appreciates you.
87) When he or she encourages your wellbeing and self-care journey. When he or she knows what your comforts are.
88) When his or her beautiful soul resonates with yours deepening their affection for you and vice versa.
89) Your mutual respect for each other’s individuality.
90) When his or her touch sets a fire of passion inside of you.
91) When he or she becomes an equal partner in crafting unforgettable experiences and memories.
92) His or her profound emotional understanding touches your heart deeply.
93) When he or she inspires you to unleash your creativity in your romance.
94) When your personal growth and independence is respected and encouraged by the other.
95) When his or her sense of humor brings you so much joy.
96) When his or her playfulness brings out your own inner child.
97) When the beauty of the world is mirrored in him or her.
98) When he or she embraces your past, present and future.
99) You develop a steadfast friendship. How you become friends first before developing anything more.
100) The radiance of his or her smile possesses an incredible ability to illuminate your entire world.
101) When he or she likes and gets along with your pets.
102) When you love how easily his or her curiosity is piqued.
103) When you tell him or her you’ve binge watched a show on Netflix and they want to check it out.
104) His or her ability to make friends wherever they go.
105) The way he or she supports your need for occasional solitude without taking it personally.
106) How he or she will get up and dance with you in the middle of a restaurant even if you’re the only two dancing. Or in a treehouse. Or in an empty warehouse to a Christmas song.
107) His or her ability to see the potential in situations that seem bleak.
108) They way he or she hugs you.
109) How he or she looks cooking over a stove.
110) How he or she hums without realizing it and you find it to be the most beautiful sound in the world.
111) How he or she makes even the simplest gestures romantic.
112) When he or she makes time for you regardless of how busy they are.
113) For his or her immense intellect and quick wit.
114) The way his or her eyes smile when they laugh.
115) When you realize that his or her spirit is bright and positive all the time.
116) When you admire the bond he or she shares with their parents.
117) For his or her inspiring vision of life and what and how it should be lived.
118) When you appreciate how stubborn he or she is but in all the right ways in all the right moments.
119) When he or she is still attracted to you despite an unhealthy weight gain after some rough years and made you still feel beautiful.
120) How he or she does not judge anything you eat or drink.
121) How his or her people skills are so incredible to witness in action.
122) How he or she looks when they’re asleep.
123) How rainy days make you think of the other because you’ve spent several of them together.
124) How he or she looks like Clark Kent/Superman in their blue light computer glasses they bought after you bought yours.
125) How he or she opens doors, car doors, and pulls out chairs for you and for others.
126) How you can love each other through tears and heartbreak still. How you can cry about it together.
127) You’re in love with and try to learn all about his or her passions whether it be cars, food, etc…
128) How you continue to learn, surprise and fascinate the other even after years of togetherness.
129) His or her uniqueness.
130) His or her sense of adventure – always up for exploring new places and trying new things – even on short notice.
131) How he or she is always striving to grow and develop both professionally and personally.
132) You fall in love with his or her remarkable ability to adjust and adapt.
133) His or her easy-going nature.
134) He or she owns up to their mistakes and does not shy away from taking responsibility; knows how to apologize.
135) When you want to write messages in the sand of the beach to each other. Or on a bathroom mirror as a surprise wakeup.
136) When you love to listen how articulate the other is when they’re speaking – words can be so powerful.
137) His or her fun-loving attitude and how they always find ways to make any situation more enjoyable and lighthearted. When there’s never a dull moment when he or she is around.
138) How he or she always strives for excellence and pushes themself to achieve goals and never settle for mediocrity.
139) How he or she never judges or criticizes but instead shows unwavering empathy and compassion.
140) A strong vocabulary is so incredibly sexy.
141) When the song “Wonderwall” becomes one of your songs.
142) When you go shopping with them and mutually agree on every item bought and they in turn wear it for all to see.
143) How he or she looks in uniform.
144) How he or she can order for us at any restaurant and never be disappointed by the choices. How we agree on the same choices before even voicing them out loud.
145) Having your own special colors and recognizing the combination everywhere since you established them.
146) When you write each other’s names in the stars with the National Star Registry.
147) When you can trust him or her with all that makes you most vulnerable.
148) How he or she can hold a conversation about anything and sound amazing doing so.
149) How he or she wants to hold hands together even while driving.
150) When you both appreciate a medium rare steak and not being an oddball who likes well done steaks.
151) Having a mutual appreciation and enjoyment of fine wines.
152) When you can’t be at a restaurant or event without playing footsie under the table.
153) Mutual Charcuterie Board appreciation.
154) His or her kiss is electric.
155) His or her tenderness is addicting.
156) Having a mutual sweet tooth.
157) When you have a song written for him or her to try to express your feelings.
158) When you want to do the most spontaneous things together and then do them – helicopter ride over the city; spontaneous trips to other cities; flying a kite on the beach; climbing treehouses; and more.
159) When you’re willing to sacrifice and compromise just to see him or her happy.
160) When you can trust him or her with your innermost thoughts, your body, and your love.
161) When you write your names on a dollar bill to post up for everyone to see at applicable restaurant.
162) For being unapologetically oneself. When you’re so grateful to exist in a world in which the universe saw fit to create such an extraordinary human being.
